Hello Dolls!
Happy Wife Wednesday! I’m very excited for this new weekly segment for anything & everything having to do with being a WIFE!
By the grace of God, my husband and I made it through our first year of marriage. Any married couple knows what I mean. So don’t feel alone, if you are dealing with issues or problems!
A VERY important topic that ALL relationships go through is CONFLICTS. The killer to a peaceful rest and enjoying one’s company. Or more noticeably to men, conflict is a true killer of bedroom time & to women, it’s a true killer of romance and intimacy.
Conflict usuallly stops us married couples from doing the special thing that leads up to God’s call for us to “be fruitful & multiply”.
It doesn’t HAVE to be that way, but we’re human, we are flesh and sometimes it’s just that hard to overcome conflict.
Whether the issue is BIG or small, it is still an issue that needs to be settled. There is such a diversity and complexity to everyones marriage. Sometimes it could be hard to explain and share with others. I’m here to help.
The important thing to remember is that where there is Yahweh, there is a way.
Tips to Help Battle Conflicts & Issues
1. Take a Deep Breath.
It’s easy to get overemotional about conflicts between you and your husband. It’s okay to be emotional! If you have to cry, then cry. If you need a moment to gather yourself then take a moment. We’re women. And proud to be women. For some of us, crying is our way of coping, releasing and detoxing an issue.
2. Talk it out.
Communication is KEY. Its wise to pick and choose your battles, but to leave issues left unsaid is foolish. You don’t want to mimic a volcano and wait until you‘re full of anger or sadness to blow up! Take a few minutes to clearly voice your concern, issue or suggestion.
Even if you do not find a solution right away, its important that you PINPOINT the issue.
Focus on the MAIN problem. Voice it. Stay on topic. It’s very easy to get into an argument and go off topic.
Even if things get off topic, REFOCUS & RECENTER the issue.
3. Don’t Run Away from Help.
If you are really going through it and the valley is deep and dark, then GET HELP. Go to someone you can TRUST. Preferably talk to your pre-martial counselors, to a trusted married couple, your pastor or reverend or a trusted member of your church’s community. I believe EVERY married couple knows that marriage is not easy nor perfect. It’s better to outsource and get the help you truly need than to fake a smile & stay in the same bad spot.
4. DON’T VENT to JUST ANYBODY
We ALL need to vent. I get it. I’m the same way. Yet you NEVER want to complain and complain to your bestie about your husband. When you are saying only the bad things about your marriage and NONE of the good, then often times, your friend will loose respect for your husband and your marriage or lessen the right type of support.
5. Join a LIFE GROUP/Church Support Group
Surround yourself with God-seeking people! Not only will they be a great example, you will have that faith-filled support you NEED. You will be able to vent honestly to other Christians who are going through, have been or getting over a similar situation as you.
6. Be the Change You want to See.
As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can”
Focus on yourself! If you dont see the change for the better, then YOU should make it! If you want something changed then you need to initiate it without expecting something in return. That is the way of the Lord that we should follow in general.
7. Don‘t Push God Out of Your Marriage
Marriage is between a wife, a husband and God. Make sure you and your husband are practicing good habits with God. Simply praying together every morning and every night is a great way to connect. Choose a different day out of the week for 1-on-1 Marriage Bible study. You and your husband can read along with a video or a Bible plan to go over marriage, love and relationships.
Little acts may result in a BIG reward.
Although marriage can be tough, it is a beautiful gift that God has given you. Always remind yourself of your blessings and never let ANYTHING distract you from it.
What is one of your solutions for overcoming marriage issues? Comment down below. Let’s Chat Doll.
With Love,
Ebony Nikita
